Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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