The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm really into asian looking animals
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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