why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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