i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
