guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
