Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
