forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
