i would punch a child for taco bell
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
