Dignity is for republicans.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
