just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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