is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
