I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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