I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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