I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
