Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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