All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
