dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
