who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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