I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
