last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
