He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
