just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
