I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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