Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
