just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
