Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
