My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
