we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
