I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
