That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
