My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
