Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
