did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
