i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
