Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
