I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
