separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
