Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
how does that bad decision feel?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
