I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
