there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
