then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
