I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
