I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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