let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
