Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I didn't shave. On purpose
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
