You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
