So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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