Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
