well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
