i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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