it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
